Trying to keep the romance alive when you have young kids is not easy, am I right? The sleep deprivation and round the clock care are enough to make anyone crazy.
Add that to the fact that I constantly smell like sour milk and I can't get through a shower without the newborn crying or the two year old needing something, and let me tell you, I am clearly not the picture of romance to my husband right now.
But last night when we were getting in bed and I'm sitting up nursing Gracie, and my sweet husband rolls over and falls asleep without even saying "good night" much less a kiss, it was a little too much. So as any good wife (whose husband is clearly not as sleep deprived as she is) would do, I poked him in the side and said, "What are you doing? Are you falling asleep?!"
To which he replies, "Ummm, yes."
Now I will give the guy credit. He was up with the vomiting 2 year old the other night, and still got up at 5 am to go to the gym before putting in a full work day. I know he is tired, too. So my rebuttel is, "Oh, okay. 'Night." The ball's in your court, buddy.
Now he could have rolled right over and ignored me. He could have gotten mad and started a fight. But instead, Ted sits up and asks me sincerely, "What? What do you need?"
And instead of my normal response, Nothing I'm just fine, I get brilliant and actually respond honestly by telling him, "I need some quality time."
My poor husband, right? Now he has to come up with some way to romance me while we juggle a baby and a toddler (and don't forget the whole showering problem I'm having). No problem, I married a smart one. He invites me to go on a lunch date with him the next day. And instead of being my normal logical self and thinking, No I don't want to spend the money, No we don't need another unhealthy meal, No that's not really a DATE because we would have a BABY with us, I respond with, "Yeah, it might be our last chance for a lunch date anyway since it's Jonah's last day of school."
So today we went out to lunch. We had sandwiches. We had a (miraculously) sleeping newborn in tow. We talked about local events, food, and our budget. There were no flowers, wine, or romantic music.
There was just a husband who cared enough to find out his wife's needs and a wife who got smart enough to tell him. And that sure felt like a win.
(Well, there was a present too, because my husband goes above and beyond :) )