Monday, August 20, 2012

Why living in New Orleans makes you hard

Being away from New Orleans makes us miss it. It also makes us realize how pampered everyone else in the world is. I think we may live in as close to a third world country as you can get in the U.S. Below are actual examples of how living in New Orleans has changed our perspective, inspired by our long weekend vacation in Vail.

1. When someone from New Orleans hears someone say "The satellite shows bad weather." it means flooded streets, torrential downpours, material damage to cars and homes, and power outages.

In Vail, it apparently means 60 degree weather and some sprinkling "rain".

2. When I heard someone in the grocery store say, "The busses are coming in." I assume this means the bus from the ghetto is about to bring a mass of people ( each dragging two grocery carts ) who just got their food stamps and will now ravage the shelves.

However, in Vail, it apparently refers to the busses of wealthy Japanese tourists with large amounts of cash arriving to get snacks.

3. Elevation is everything. Several people have asked me how I'm "managing" the elevation. I'll be honest, it takes some adjustment to function on less oxygen. But not as much adjustment as 100% humidity, 98 degrees, and the constant threat of flood from living below sea level. Cool weather, cute scarves, and good hair days? think I can handle some breathlessness.

4. In New Orleans, when someone is running toward you in a dark alley, you should probably run screaming in the other direction.

In Vail, they say "on your left!" so as not to run in to you while exercising.

5. In New Orleans, you would never leave your bike unlocked, and even if you lock it you have a 50% chance of it getting stolen anyway.

In Vail, I have seen plenty of unlocked bikes including one with a sign on it that said "For Sale $1200". Really? What alternate universe am I in where someone left out a bike with a sign on it saying how much you could sell it for? I'm sure no one locks their ski and snowboard equipment either.

So there you are. 5 reasons why living in New Orleans has made us crazy. It's nice to get away for a while and live like normal people, but the culture shock gets to you. Maybe tomorrow someone will cut me off in traffic and I can feel normal again.

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